A Psalm

God you are so awesome. Everything you do is so amazing, so big, so beautiful. You made everything that exists, including me, by the mere thought of it. All things in Heaven and earth begin and end with you. You are all things. You are Creator. You are everywhere -- at every moment.

Why then I can I not find you?
Why do you hide from me?
Why do you allow even the shadows to mock me?

I am so very tired. The darkness of this world closes in on me. I am so afraid that I have wasted my life, and denied you the opportunity to help me find myself. Have I not been faithful? Have I not devoted my life, my time, my energy to doing those things which your Holy Spirit inspires me to do? Have I not made every effort to accept everyone as your child and my equal?

What I have I not done that you require of me?

Do I not love enough?
Do I lack wisdom?
Do I lack understanding?
Do I turn my eyes from my brother in need?

It is true that everything I need, you freely offer me. Everything I have, you are the One who already gave it to me. Even though you breathed into me my very first breath, and loved me before I was ever conceived, I only seem to know a few things. I know --

I have been unfaithful and lazy.
I have been unwise and insincere.
I have been mean and selfish.
I have allowed pride and arrogance to cloud my judgement.

All of these things and more I have done while you patiently waited for me to wake from my slumber. I have let you down. I have let my family down. I have let mankind down. It seems I am lost in the fog of my own undoing. Even so, my spirit knows you, my heart longs for your touch, my mind searches for your will, and as I stumble down the path you set out before me, one other thing I absolutely know:

You cannot stop loving me!

O Father, how my soul praises you. I sing as if I am among those surrounding your throne. You have the responsibilty of keeping everything in the Universe in order; You watch over the sun, the moon, and all the stars. You keep perfect order of the things in this world. And all the while, you my king, delightfully and joyfully choose to also watch over me. You keep me from harm in spite of my being unaware of the danger. You order my steps, even when I have turned my back on you --

All because you Love me.

Dear God, as if that were not enough, you lovingly proved your devotion to me and all my brothers and sisters throughout the earth by setting aside the glory of Heaven, and laying down your life through Christ, our Messiah so that I might be where you are. You are indeed King of kings, and I will worship you -- even though I cannot see you, I will worship you. I will trust you even though I have never heard you speak out loud to me. No matter what tomorrow brings, I will wait for you to reveal yourself to me, and free me from the chains of doubt that plague me once again.

I know you are here with me, and I know you love me. I know you listen when I pray. I know you want the best for me in all my affairs. And you also know that, for me right now, that is enough.

All glory, honor, and praise be yours, now and forever more. You are Love, and I am the object of your affection. I can never escape the power of Love.

Selah